


Make Me Believe That You Need Me Most

by nothingwithoutyouxo



Series: 100 Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them [4]
Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Lunar Eclipse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:52:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingwithoutyouxo/pseuds/nothingwithoutyouxo
Summary: Two boys, one lunar eclipse, and a lot of feelings.(100 Ways to Tell Someone You Love Them #4: "I hope you like it")





	Make Me Believe That You Need Me Most

**Author's Note:**

> This took me too long to write. Writer's block is evil. Anyways, I hope you like cheese.  
> The title is from Just For Tonight by James Bay because this line always reminds me of Them.

Moritz wasn’t sure if there was any logical reason for him to be doing this. All he knew was that Melchior had said to meet him at the bottom of the hill near the park. God knew he would do anything for Melchior. Ilse always told him that it was going to get him into trouble one day. Maybe she was right. Maybe it would. Moritz didn’t know if he cared or not. It was still light out, people milling about the streets in different directions heading home or wherever else they needed to be. Moritz was grateful that earphones existed because it made it easier to zone them out. Other people made him anxious. He hated being around strangers. He focused instead on where he was going and who he was meeting and only on that.

 

He wasn’t sure why he was so relieved when he spotted Melchior, but it didn’t matter. Melchior was leaning against a tree, scrolling on his phone and obviously trying look unassuming. He must have felt Moritz’s eyes on him because he looked up and offered him a wave.

 

“Hey,” he said as he came to a stop in front of him.

  
  
“Hey.” Melchior pushed away from the tree. “I missed you.”

 

That wasn’t something that he’d ever said before. It threw Moritz off his guard and into an almost state of shock. His brain was already thinking of a million reasons why Melchior would say that, but he wasn’t coming up with anything. “You saw me a few hours ago,” he replied, because it was all he could think of.

 

Melchior shrugged. “Yeah, maybe.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the ground.

 

Moritz wasn’t sure what was happening but Melchior seemed different. He seemed off somehow as he shoved his phone into his pocket and struggled to look Moritz in the eye. Moritz wasn’t sure if there was anything to say to make this better. He tried a question. “So what’s so special about tonight again?”

 

He perked up at that, just enough that Moritz could feel a wave of relief enter his bloodstream. “Full lunar eclipse,” he said. “Only happens every three years. Which I guess makes it frequent so it’s not really special.”

 

“It sounds special.”

 

He smiled at that before starting up the hill. Moritz fell into step next to him. He would have asked why they needed to go up a hill for this but he guessed the closer to the sky they were the easier they could see the moon.

 

“You’re lucky my mum let me come out tonight,” he teased. “Going out to spend a night with a boy. If she knew I wasn’t straight I think she would have had a heart attack.”

 

Melchior laughed as the sky started darkening around them. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

 

“Then again she’s known you for our whole lives. I think she trusts you by now.”

 

He looked over at Moritz out of the corner of his eye. “I hope you like it,” he said. “I don’t want to drag you all the way up here just to waste your time.”

 

Moritz nudged his arm gently. “Hey, time with you is never time wasted.”

 

Melchior nodded, the hint of a smile on his face. “Likewise.”

 

***

 

“So, how long until this moon thing happens?”

 

Melchior looked over at him. Moritz could tell he was fighting off a laugh. “You mean the eclipse?”

 

He nodded. “Yeah. Do we just have to wait here until it does?”

 

The two of them were sitting on the top of the hill now. There were a few other people around. Moritz was kind of surprised that more of their friends weren’t up here. It seemed to be a good enough vantage point, and it was a clear night. No dark clouds in the sky that would make people worry about rain.

 

Melchior pulled out his phone, checked the time. “We have a few more hours,” he muttered. “Technically I brought you up here too early, but I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

 

Moritz had pinned it down to one word. Sentimental. Melchior seemed more sentimental tonight than he thought he’d ever seen him. He wasn’t sure what it meant or how he felt about it. He thought that he was maybe a little worried. He didn’t know if had reason to be, and maybe that made him feel worse.

 

“You should talk about something.”

 

“What?”

 

Melchior shrugged, pulled at the case on his phone. “Yeah. Just about anything.”

 

Moritz could feel the concern start to bubble inside of him. Had something happened that he didn’t know about? Is that why Melchior seemed kind of weird? He knew that when he needed to avoid things he found himself wanting to get lost in whatever Melchior could tell him. Was he doing the same thing? “Wouldn’t you rather hear yourself talk?”

 

“Not really. I like hearing your voice.”

 

This was weird, right? Moritz wasn’t crazy for thinking this was weird. Right? Melchior never gave compliments away this freely. At least, that’s what he thought this was. Was that what this was? “Are you ok?”

 

Melchior didn’t so much as move. “What do you mean?”

 

“You’ve been acting a little weird. First you say you miss me and now this. Did something happen? Do you need to talk about some stuff?”

 

He looked up at him. Moritz could tell that whatever this was seemed to be confusing him too. “Am I not allowed to miss you?”

 

“No,” he backtracked. “It’s just - it’s unlike you.”

  
  
“I’m sorry.”

  
  
“No, don’t be sorry. It’s ok.”

 

It went quiet for a few minutes. Moritz wasn’t sure what to say and he could tell that Melchior didn’t know either. He pulled at his phone case for a bit longer before shoving it back into his pocket and looking over at Moritz again. There was something playing behind his eyes that Moritz couldn’t identify, and that made him uneasy. He knew Melchior, knew him better than he knew himself sometimes. Why couldn’t he figure him out now?

 

“How’s Martha coping with the Twilight renaissance?”

 

Well, if Melchior needed him to talk then he could do that. He could talk about Martha all day. “She’s living and breathing it,” he said. “I think it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her. You know, horribly cringey content you’re embarrassed to say you liked coming back for a victory lap when you didn’t expect it. It’s great for her.”

 

“It’s a meme thing, right?”

 

“I don’t even know at this point. There’s snail memes. She keeps showing me snails memes. I don’t know when they started or where they came from or what the hell they mean but … there’s so many snail memes, Melchi.”

 

Melchior laughed and as Moritz looked over at him he was instantly sent into a spiral of panic. He thought he’d caught something in Melchior’s expression, something in the way that he was looking at him. Melchior didn’t look at him like _that_.

 

He took a deep breath and continued anyway. Maybe he’d imagined it. “She plays the soundtracks every day. All of them. In a row, not even on shuffle. She’ll just randomly have one song on repeat like five times and then it’ll just continue to cycle through. They’re good soundtracks. Better than those movies deserved, I think. And I love Paramore more than words and I would die for Hayley Williams and I know that you know that but god, Melchi, if I have to hear _I Caught Myself_ one more time when I’m actually trying to study some stuff I think I might lose it.”

 

“Have I ever told you that I love you?”

 

There was weight to the question. It sat in the air around them with a purpose. With Intent. Moritz could feel it pressing against his chest and expelling all the air from his lungs in the process as he desperately tried to come up with something, anything, to say in this moment. Because Melchior was still looking at him like _that_ and _oh god this moment is real this is really happening_ . He did what his first instinct always told him to when he had no clue how to deal with anything. He tried to make light of the situation.

  
  
“Is that a rhetorical question? We both know you’ve never said anything like that to me.”

 

Melchior hesitated. Surely he was just as much out of his comfort zone as Moritz was. “You know that I mean it.” It wasn’t a question.

 

Moritz nodded anyway. “I know,” he muttered. “But why?”

  
  
“Do you want me to start running through the list? I have a list of things I love about you.”

  
  
Moritz didn’t even have the headspace right now to think about that. “No, that’s unnecessary.”

  
  
Melchior stopped in his tracks. There was that hesitation again. That caution about what he was going to say next. His eyes flicked between Moritz and the ground. He pulled a few blades of grass out from next to him. “What’s on your mind right now?”

  
  
Moritz thought that he heard it. For the first time in all the years they’d known each other, he thought he heard a hint of nerves in Melchior’s voice. He never really lied to Melchior. Not really. A white lie here and then so that Melchior didn’t worry about him, but nothing more than that. In the moment the two of them were in now, he’d never felt so compelled to tell Melchior the truth, about something that he’d never really told him about before. “You, mostly,” he admitted. “It’s always mostly you.”

  
  
Melchior met his eyes. There was a smile pulling at his lips. “Can relate,” he said.

  
  
Moritz had no idea what was happening. What he was doing or what he had to say or how he ended up here at all. The only thing on his mind was Melchior and while that wasn’t all that uncommon for him, it was different this time. “What are you gonna do now? Kiss me or something?”

 

He pulled at his glasses almost sheepishly. “I was ... kind of thinking about it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“We don’t have to - I mean, I’m not expecting you to -”

 

Moritz shook his head. “Do you think about it a lot?”

 

Melchior smiled, not quite looking at him. “Sometimes, yeah.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Too much?”

 

“No.” Part of him wanted to know how often and when that started and so many other things. Part of him didn’t want to think. “Come here,” he muttered.

 

Something flashed behind Melchior’s eyes. “What?”

 

Moritz wondered if he could tell that he thought about it sometimes too. “Come here. Kiss me, or whatever.”

 

“Moritz, are you -”

 

He shrugged one shoulder. “I want you to.”

 

“There’s people.”

 

It was only when Melchior mentioned them that Moritz remembered them. He was right to think that it was something Moritz would be worried about. Usually it would be, but no one was looking at them. Even if they were, he didn’t think it would matter. Not right now. “Don’t care.”

 

Neither of them moved at first. Melchior’s eyes flicked around again before landing on Moritz. He seemed hesitant again, nervous still. Moritz wondered why. What it was about now that would make him nervous. What it was about _him_ that did that. Another moment passed and Moritz was sure that it wasn’t going to happen, that he probably should regret mentioning it, but then Melchior was leaning in and Moritz couldn’t remember how to breathe.

 

Whatever he’d thought that this would feel like, this wasn’t it. This was different. Slower. Better than he imagined. A shiver ran up his spine and Melchior must have felt it because he pulled away.

 

“Are you cold?”

 

Moritz blinked, trying to register what he’d said instead of just thinking about chasing his lips again. Before he had time to respond, Melchior was already shrugging out of his jacket and wrapping it around him. He smiled.

 

“I’m not cold,” he laughed. “It’s just … you.”

 

His brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

 

He shook his head. “No, in a good way.”

 

Melchior smiled. Moritz moved closer to him and hoped Melchior would take it as an incentive to put his arm around him. It took him a minute to catch on but he did.

 

“So, why tonight then?” he asked. “For all of this?”

 

Melchior shrugged, stared up at the sky. “The moon’s pretty. You’re pretty. And, uh, Ilse told me I had to.”

 

“She told you that you had to?”

 

“No, that - that didn’t come out right. I -“ he broke off. “I talk about you a lot and I think it’s starting to get to her.”

 

Moritz couldn’t help smiling at that. “You talk about me a lot?” It was almost teasing. He knew that Melchior could tell because he rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That’s …”

 

He sighed. “Stupid. Yeah, I know.”

 

Moritz shook his head, leaned into him a little. “No, Melchi, it’s nice.”

 

He met his eyes. “You think so?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Melchior smiled, leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

He needed courage for his next question. Which was something that he usually had trouble with. Moritz took a deep breath. “So, what’s this then. Are we a thing?”

 

A beat. “We’re everything.”

 

“Don’t quote _Rent_ at me. It’ll make me soft.”

 

“You’re right. That’s the opposite of what I want.”

 

Moritz just looked at him for a moment. The two of them burst into laughter.

 

“That was beneath you,” he smirked.

 

“As you wish.”

 

Moritz shoved him, laughing. “Stop!”

 

“Ok, ok. I’m sorry. God, I -,” he ran a hand over his face. “I really have been spending too much time with Hanschen.”

 

“Consequences of living with him.”

 

“Unfortunately. I should have moved in with Ilse instead. I can’t remember why I didn’t.”

 

“To be closer to me.”

 

“What?”

 

He paused. He wasn’t sure why he’d said it, didn’t know that he’d had an answer, but he thought that he was right. “Your apartment is closer to mine than Ilse’s,” he explained.

 

“I didn’t think about it like that. Which makes even more sense, I suppose.”

 

“How so?”

 

“You’re always on my mind.” He shrugged. “In a gay way.”

 

Moritz laughed. “I don’t think you needed to add that.”

 

“Just making the point clear.”

 

“Do I have to tell you I think about you too?”

 

He tapped his fingers against Moritz’s shoulder absently. “You don’t _have_ to tell me anything.”

 

“I do though.”

 

He smiled. “Cool.”

 

“Cool? That’s all you have to say about that?”

 

“I don’t … really know what to say, Moritz.”

 

Moritz couldn’t really blame him for that. He was kind of lost too. “Aren’t you supposed to be a man of many words?” he teased.

 

Melchior shrugged. “Guess you’ve made me speechless.”

 

He was very aware that his heart rate picked up, just a little. “God … was that … flirting?”

 

“That was blatant flirting, yes.”

 

“I think it worked. It makes me want to kiss you again.”

 

“Not sure if that was my intention but I’m not against it.”

 

Moritz legitimately considered it, but then something caught his eye. He looked up, noticing Melchior do the same, and saw the moon.

 

“There we go, she’s starting to turn red.”

 

“So, why does she turn red?”

 

“Do you want the simple version or the science version?”

 

“Nah, talk science to me. It’s hot when you do that.”

 

“It’s what?”

 

“Just - forget that I said that.”

 

Melchior bit down on his lip. “It’s actually not even that sciency,” he explained. “She’s red because she’s passing through the Earth’s shadow. She’s usually silver because the sun reflects that onto her but because the sun is being blocked by Earth, she doesn’t get that.”

 

“So how long does she stay like that?”

 

“It’s usually somewhere between and hour and a half and two hours.”

 

He smiled. “Do we just get to sit here and watch her?”

 

“Yeah. That’s kind of the point.”

 

Moritz rested his head against Melchior’s shoulder and wondered how far he could take this before Melchior started regretting it. “This a pretty nice first date,” he said.

 

Melchior looked down at him. Moritz wondered if he could tell just how content he was right now. “If I knew this was going to be a first date I would have worn a nicer shirt.”

 

“All your shirts are nice. You look good in everything. It’s only mildly annoying.”

 

Melchior laughed, took Moritz’s hand and tangled their fingers together.

 

“You’d probably even look good in one of my shirts. Not to give you ideas or anything.”

 

“Smooth.”

 

He shrugged. “Planning ahead.”

 

“Well, you look pretty good in my clothes so you can’t talk.”

 

Moritz still wasn’t sure how to handle all these compliments. So he tried to change the subject instead. He looked up at the moon for a minute, and thought about how cool space was. He didn’t know enough about it. He’d have to work on that. “It would be cool if the sun could do this too.”

 

He paused. “Moritz, not to blow your mind or anything but solar eclipses literally exist.”

 

Shit. He was right. Moritz closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. “Wow, I really am dumb.”

 

Melchior shook his head, squeezed Moritz’s hand gently. “You’re not. You’re smart when it comes to a lot of things. It’s on my list.”

 

“What list?”

 

“My list of things I love about you.”

 

“Wait.”   _He wasn’t joking?_ “You really do have a list?”

  
  
Melchior nodded.

 

Moritz sat up again and looked over at him. “Do I have a list?” It was a stupid question. The way Melchior’s eyes glinted in amusement behind his glasses told him that.

 

“Only you can know that,” he smiled.

 

It took less than a second for him to remember the extensive amount of things about Melchior that he’d gone on about. Whether it be to Wendla, Martha, Ernst, or Ilse. Really it was just whichever one of them was keen to listen. Or whoever was in the room in some cases. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that he had no idea how they’d put up with him for this long. “Ok, I have a list,” he said, and almost ignored the way Melchior laughed.

 

He softened. “Can I be self indulgent for a minute and ask you to tell me one thing that’s on it?”

 

A thousand things came to him all at once. He had no idea which one he loved more. Well, first thought, best thought. “When you’re studying you hold your pen really loosely in your hand and you tap it against your textbook in a pattern that’s kind of like a heartbeat and I don’t know if you know that you do it but I like it.”

 

Melchior just looked at him. He seemed taken aback by that and Moritz wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t sure if he should regret noticing things like that. Was it weird to do so? Would Melchior think it was weird? “No one sees me like you do,” he said. There was something in his voice that wasn’t usually there. Moritz couldn’t pin it down, but he thought he kind of liked it.

 

“Good. I don’t really want anyone else to. Is that selfish?”

 

He smiled. “No, I don’t think so.”

 

What compelled him to ask his next question, he had no idea, but it was tumbling out of him before he could stop it. “If I kiss you, would that be ok?”

 

“You can kiss me as many times as you want, Moritz, honestly.”

 

“Ok, that’s tempting.”

 

***

 

Moritz forgot that he’d set an alarm for the next morning so when his phone started blaring him awake he considered straight up breaking it. He managed to get his alarm to stop, bleary eyes blinking at his too bright screen. He’d received a message at too early for a Saturday and squinted to try and read it.

 

Fairy Queen: _IS IT TRUE THAT LAST NIGHT YOU WERE ON SOME HILLTOP MAKING OUT WITH MELCHIOR GABOR_

 

He shouldn’t have been surprised. News travelled pretty fast in their group somehow. He was pretty sure they were all connected on a higher plane of existence. He typed a quick reply. _We have too much in common now Wendla. It’s getting scary_

 

Fairy Queen: _ADSAFJ I LOVE YOU_

 

He checked the rest of his notifications. It was mainly social media stuff, and a few texts from Ilse and Ernst. He guessed that Martha would be next when she woke up. When he realised that he didn’t have any messages from Melchior his first instinct was to worry. Then as he went over the night before in his head, that worry turned into panic. Shit, he’d forgotten something really important. More important than anything.

 

***

 

Melchi I don’t think I told you

I loved you last night

 

No you did

In your own way

Unless you I misread you and

you’re trying to tell me you don’t?

 

No I do

I love you Melchi

 

That’s surreal to hear you say

 

Is that bad?

 

Not at all

 

So last night

Will that ever happen again?

 

Are you trying to ask me out?

 

I might be failing at it

 

You’re not

I want it to happen again

Do you?

 

Yes

Is that ok?

 

Of course

 

So

Are you like

my boyfriend now?

 

I could be

Do you want me to be?

 

Do you want to be?

 

Moritz

 

Sorry

I want you to be

 

Then sure

I’m your boyfriend

 

Wow

 

But only if you’ll be mine

 

I already was

I mean I wasn’t your boyfriend but

I could have been I mean I wanted to be like

I would have if you asked and you didn’t

and thats ok because I wasn’t expecting you to

and even last night was really surprising

I never thought you would want to be like that with me

but I’m yours

I’m sorry. I’ll stop rambling now

 

Moritz I love you so fucking much

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to pop me a message on [Tumblr](http://www.potter-awakening.tumblr.com/). Also before anyone says this happened too fast or whatever consider this: I'm soft and they're in love.  
> Comments, kudos, etc. are appreciated.  
> Until next time!


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